Star Trek Episode IV: Battle of the Fandoms

This is the start of my compare/contrast essay for College English. Being a Trekkie myself and having many friends who are unsure of which side to join, I decided to write a paper to sway them to the "good" side, the Federation. Here's it so far (just my intro!)

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, men made a pact to explore strange new worlds,

to seek out new life, new civilizations and to boldly go where no one has gone before! It was a period of civil war when two separate faction emerged. The Star-Nerds, who were obsessed with all things Tatoonian, lived by the Jedi creed, and hated the Trade Federation. Their opposition were the Trekkies, whose hardest question was whether Kirk or Picard was better, could hold intelligent conversations in Klingon (and knew that Hamlet was written by them), and could name the six different species of Xindi, one of which is extinct, which, for your information, include Aquatics, Arboreals (which are like us humans), Primates, Insectoids, Reptilians, and the now extinct Avians. For many years, arguments over whether or not lightsabers could beat phasers, over which method was more humane, Force choke or Vulcan Nerve Grip, heck, even if the Jedi mind trick could beat a Mind Meld, divided fans, tore apart families, and caused many Jedi/Klingon wars. Sadly, it is not easily for fans of both or even noobs to decide what side of the fence they should sit on. It requires much deliberation, much debate, and much soul searching to decide whether to join and become a Jedi or be a Federation member. In order to decide which side you will join, we have to first look at the origins of the different factions.